What to do About “Those” Scenes…
To be transparent, this article is going to talk about a topic that is often uncomfortable and awkward for the Christian creative: what should we do about romantically (and graphically) intimate scenes in fiction? Whether your personal stance is “no, never, under any circumstance” or “there is room for options”, this is a conversation that is both relevant and necessary to creatives intent on honoring God and presenting His truth to the nations (particularly in such a hypersexualized culture). So, let us stride boldly into our discomfort, unashamed to look at this topic from a high-level meta and seek out God’s wisdom on the topic.
This article is going to take a look at a few nuanced questions, including whether or not intimacy should be included at all in Christian fiction, regardless of how it is described, and whether its acceptable for characters married to each other to discuss intimacy or be in such situations. As with all of these articles, it is important to follow your own convictions and the convictions of the Holy Spirit beyond anything we mere humans say. While some of this topic can be discussed using Scripture, quite a bit of it is going to depend on the creative, their culture, and their audience.
There is also a tremendous amount of ground to cover, so buckle up!
First Question: should Christian creatives ever use graphic intimacy in their fiction?
The short answer to the question is a simple “no”. This said, given how inundated with intimate scenes the secular media realm — where most of us get our stories — it is some times difficult to remember exactly why these kinds of scenes should be avoided in Christian fiction.
In the modern realm, it is completely normal to have “that” scene in a story; the scene in a TV show you look away from when your parents are in the room, that scene that pushes a movie that should be PG-13 to R, the most uncomfortable (or curiosity-inducing) few pages of what would otherwise be a tame fantasy novel. It’s reached the point where this scene is usually expected by the audience. Even cleaner movies sometimes feel like they are missing something without that notorious bedroom scene. However, despite the cultural prevalence, Christians are called to a higher standard than the world; particularly in what we create. We need to use caution and care when creating stories so that we do not cause others to stumble and, even more important than that, that we bring glory to God.
Why are graphic intimacy scenes a problem?
To put it simply: God created intimacy to be between a husband and wife, not a man, a woman, and an audience.
“Open door” or “spicy” scenes are — to put it bluntly — a type of porn. Although in written fiction it is typically labelled as “erotica”, a different, more exotic-sounding name isn’t going to change what it is or how it impacts the audience. The detrimental effects of porn on the human brain are extremely well-documented and it has been shown to lead to a host of emotional, mental, and even physical problems, not to mention utterly destroying real-world relationships. There is absolutely no reason for the Christian storyteller to be an intentional participant in something that is going to harm their audience, rather than bring them to the Truth. Graphic intimacy should always be an automatic “no” for the Christian, whether creating or consuming media.
Additional Note: some authors excuse erotica as ”harmless” for the fact that it’s not visual and it doesn’t involve human actors and actresses or carry the same risk of behind-the-scenes exploitation and abuse. However, while they may be technically correct, the story is still detrimental to the psychological, emotional, and physical welfare of the audience. In Western society, which prizes books and literacy, there is also an undercurrent of “books/reading can do no harm”, which is also false. All books aside from the Bible are simply objects written and created by human hands and like anything humanity creates, have just as much potential of doing good or doing harm.
Second Question: is non-graphic, “closed door” intimacy a problem in Christian fiction?
Now is where the argument takes on a little more nuance. Having intimacy and even sexual sin in a story is not necessarily a problem for Christian fiction, depending on the context, formatting, and purpose. God created intimacy for humanity for a purpose and has given us a specific rules for when and how it should be accomplished. Including characters that have both obeyed these rules (i.e. waited until marriage with a person of the opposite gender) and disobeyed them can help add a richness to the story and also teach the audience how to navigate real-world temptations, sins, and situations. It is no sin to depict sin in Christian fiction, so long as the story is not intentionally encouraging its audience towards said sin.
Characters having an “off-screen” one night stand and then suffering the spiritual and emotional consequences of that night as part of their spiritual journey can be an incredible tool of speaking the Truth of how God designed intimacy. The same thing can be said for characters with a string of lovers, characters who are LGBTQ, characters who are adulterous, and so on and so forth. These can all be useful to a story’s message, whether as the repentant sinners, tempters, antagonists, those haunted by their past, or filling some other role. Christians are not called to create hyperclean, sanitized stories that are devoid of any meaningful message; even the Bible is full of people who committed perversion against God’s natural design and suffered the consequences.
That’s all very negative. Should intimacy always be portrayed as a negative thing in Christian fiction?
Absolutely not! God created intimacy and it is a beautiful thing in its proper context. Positive discussions and non-graphic depictions (i.e. married characters kissing, giggling, and then walking into the bedroom to close the door, or having heart-to-heart conversations about expectations or troubles in bed) should be included where appropriate in Christian storytelling. Showing married characters delighting in one another in subtle touches and little hints to indicate that they are very much in love and pursuing each other intimately is a wonderful thing. This is particularly true when the secular media spends most of its time portraying intimacy as a fun party trick or a source of drama. Having Christian creatives stand up for the fact that intimacy is a blessing from the Lord is one of the best ways to fight against this evil idea that it is either gross, dirty, or something to be freely given at every whim.
A great example is the Song of Solomon (if you have or are comfortable reading it). It depicts a couple from engagement through marriage in poetic language that both paints a beautiful, positive picture of intimacy and avoids any worldly definition of what said intimacy should look like or be used for. Additionally, while the book is definitely a bit steamy and not necessarily suitable for all audiences, it deftly avoids becoming graphic.
Third Question: how does audience factor into how descriptive a Christian creative should be?
When telling a story, the most foundational element is the audience. While the overall concept and genre of a story can be independent from the audience, everything from the characters, tone, plot, prose (or style), worldbuilding, complexity, and intensity are all incredibly dependent on the intended audience’s demographics. This includes how much description or discussion of intimacy is appropriate. If the intended audience is married Christian men or women, then there is more room to be blunt or obvious about characters’ intimacy. If the target audience is middle graders, they probably don’t need much in the way of romance in their fiction, much less any discussions of intimacy. Teenagers, however, who are just beginning to enter puberty and crave God’s blessing to humanity, could benefit from healthy, open stories about the good of intimacy and how to navigate the temptations they are going to face.
One of the most important things to remember about intimate scenes and discussions for any level of description is the fact that this topic is one of the most psychologically and emotionally impactful to the majority of the audience. This is particularly true in a culture that idolizes intimacy as much as the West does. To this end, even non-graphic intimacy can make a huge impact on how the audience perceives the characters, their dynamics, the plot, and the message of the story. It can be used to create fast, cheap, and shallow romance between characters or deepen and strengthen a healthy (or trying to be healthy) relationship. Keeping this in mind will help Christian creatives tell exactly the kind of story they are looking to tell.
Conclusion
Romantic intimacy is not a topic Christian creatives should shun wholesale from their storytelling. It is first and foremost a wonderful gift that God has given for a husband and wife to help strengthen their bond to one another and create children. However, it is a topic that needs to be handled with tact and an understanding of Scripture. Christians should avoid writing graphic intimate scenes given how detrimental they are to the audience, but shouldn’t completely exclude the topic of intimacy from all fiction forever. Depending on the audience, context, and core message of the story, exploring themes and concepts about intimacy can help strengthen and fortify the Christian position on intimacy as well as glorify God.
Disclaimer: this article contains a link to one of Brainy Pixel’s clients, Covenant Eyes. Brainy Pixel was not paid or encouraged by Covenant Eyes to include said link; it was chosen at the discretion of our blog writer to provide more information on a relevant topic. If you or someone you know is suffering from an addiction to porn or erotica, please consider reaching out to your local church, a trusted brother or sister in Christ, a mentor, or taking a look at the resources companies like Covenant Eyes has to offer. None of God’s children are alone in this fight.